In today’s reality, information about sex has become more accessible, but due to one circumstance or another, not everyone can afford to use this information, much less consult a specialist.
“I don’t experience orgasm. Am I frigid?”
The concept of frigidity is much more complicated than is commonly believed. And it is not the absence of orgasm in a woman, but a complete lack of sexual life, desire and even the presence of disgust for the process. Regular sex without discharge and climax can negatively affect the state of health, and therefore the problem can and should be solved. It is important to understand that orgasm can be “awakened” if there are no pathological changes in physiology and mental deviations, so if you are experiencing difficulties, it is worth contacting a specialist, rather than self-medication and false diagnoses.
“What to do if during sex there is an unpleasant sound of air escaping from the vagina?”
“Quiffing” — a fairly common phenomenon that most often occurs after the age of 25 or after childbirth and is a sign of a decrease in the tone of the vaginal walls.
What to do?
Train your intimate muscles with the right devices;
Choose positions that do not require intensive leg spreading and lifting;
In the first minutes of penetration reciprocating movements can be replaced by circular movements — then the air comes out imperceptibly, and then you can continue at your favorite pace and direction.
“I fantasize about a threesome. I don’t dare to voice it to my partner, I’m afraid of the reaction. What to do?”
One question contains two needs at once. Fantasies can remain at the level of fantasy, but if there is a need for additional sensations, it will not go anywhere. If you are not ready to voice your desire, try to diversify your sex life with the help of sex toys — you can choose them yourself or together with your partner.
It should be understood that it is necessary to voice your desires, if they are realizable and safe. This determines the degree of intimacy, trust and compatibility. Try to discuss your fantasies with your partner — it is possible that your desire will resonate with them
“Thoughts get in the way of relaxing during sex. How do you turn your head off?”
The trick of “turning off your head” is a skill. It consists in the ability to control the flow of thoughts and direct it in the right direction, and it is worth practicing it not only in sex. So, if you wash dishes — wash dishes, driving — be in the moment. During sexual intercourse, pay attention to where your thoughts are directed, and with your intention, start, for example, to list the body parts that excite you, mentally recite the actions you perform — this will not only allow you to focus on the process, but also give additional excitement.
“What to do when sex just doesn’t feel good, but there’s no definite reason for it?”
Any competent doctor will tell you that all problems and issues related to sex always come from the head. The main regulating “organ” of your sexual (and not only) life is the subconscious mind, which absorbs past experiences in order to then lead you to make certain decisions. On our own, we sometimes cannot understand where these blockages come from and what, for example, prevents us from relaxing and getting aroused. It is the subconscious mind, by the way, that is responsible for feeling comfortable in a particular situation, which is especially important in sex. After all, if you are uncomfortable, then there will be no pleasure. And whether the cause was an unsuccessful previous experience or childhood restrictive attitudes, without a specialist, it is sometimes difficult to figure out.
“Is masturbation bad?”
Without fanaticism — even useful. Sex therapy often uses its elements — for example, if a woman wants to experience orgasm for the first time or a man wants to learn how to control the onset of ejaculation. It helps us to fantasize, reduce menstrual pain, unlock our sexuality, stimulate libido and much more. However, masturbation should not be the only way to achieve orgasm, or you may have difficulty with other pleasure options later on.
“How to bring passion back into a relationship if the partners have been together for a long time and the attraction is gone?”
Passion is lost when there is routine and monotony. Sexual attraction can often decrease due to poor relations in the couple: misunderstandings, offenses, inability to hear each other. It can also be due to fatigue, stress or hormonal failure in the body. In order to restore passion and attraction, it is necessary, first of all, to understand the causes of the problem.
“How to diversify your sex life?”
Start with your sexual fantasies — write down at least 10. This list may surprise you yourself, and this is the first step towards a varied sex life. Then discuss your desires with your partner — even if you don’t get feedback in the form of his fantasies, he will still start thinking about yours, and this will also help the process.
Next, start small and “simple” and then raise the degree of passion. And do not worry that the list will run out — in the process of realization of fantasies can be born new and more daring.
“Orgasm is gone. What could be the cause?”
There could be several reasons. These include bad sexual experience (for example, anal sex without preparation), severe stress, pop-up triggers (sex is embarrassing or other). If we talk about the physical aspect of the problem — it can be a hormonal failure, painful intercourse, postpartum period or gynecological diseases. In any case, this problem is worth discussing with a specialist.
“Why does the partner refuses oral caresses?”
As in the previous point, there can be many reasons — traumatic experience, limitations related to moral principles and attitudes, shyness or lack of skills and experience. Discuss the issue with your partner
and try to find out what the root of the problem is.
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